The other day we went to Babies R Us to look for a new car seat for Maddie. After looking at the car seats, Maddie asked if she could look at the toys, so we made our way to that side or the store. Of course, this meant walking past all the infant seats, cribs, infant clothing, and infant bedding. I don't know what happened while I was in there, but it was the first time I felt physically sick from being surrounded by baby things. Sometimes I wonder how much more in can take.
If it's not enough to lose your second baby and not be able to get pregnant again, just wait until all your friends and even your sister-in-law go on to have their second, third, and probably fourth kids. To be honest, it utterly and completely stinks. It feels like God has abandoned you, your friends don't understand you, and your husband has forgotten.
I don't have any answers and I don't even know if there will be a "happy" ending at this point, but what I do now is they I don't think I can take much more before this heart of mine permanently breaks.
